I love this story, so I'm so glad that you've re-posted it, because it gives me a chance to say so.
The format is one of the most striking ideas I've seen used in fanfic, and stories which use a unique device to structure the story always saty with me. This is certainly one of those. I love the conceit of CJ as a palimpsest that (maybe) Toby is the only one who can read. It's right for her, as the kind of woman who carries her experience and opinions with her always and isn't afraid to show them. You've created that feeling beautifully.
I love your Toby too. It's such a fitting thing that what is between them is expressed in poetry and speeches that have mattered, and that, eventually, neither paper not her body is enough and he needs to start *saying* what he means. I love that he's part of the text too; that he can erase as well as write. It privileges him wonderfully.
And your style is gorgeous: lush with descriptions but never overdone. This is a masterpiece, and I adore it.
Forgive the *huuuge* comment, but, I don't know, I figured maybe you'd appreciate getting some proper feedback, which you certainly deserve. (You're one of the greats, just for this, you know? Don't forget. :))
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dancing_serpent
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-28 11:55 am (UTC)The format is one of the most striking ideas I've seen used in fanfic, and stories which use a unique device to structure the story always saty with me. This is certainly one of those. I love the conceit of CJ as a palimpsest that (maybe) Toby is the only one who can read. It's right for her, as the kind of woman who carries her experience and opinions with her always and isn't afraid to show them. You've created that feeling beautifully.
I love your Toby too. It's such a fitting thing that what is between them is expressed in poetry and speeches that have mattered, and that, eventually, neither paper not her body is enough and he needs to start *saying* what he means. I love that he's part of the text too; that he can erase as well as write. It privileges him wonderfully.
And your style is gorgeous: lush with descriptions but never overdone. This is a masterpiece, and I adore it.
Forgive the *huuuge* comment, but, I don't know, I figured maybe you'd appreciate getting some proper feedback, which you certainly deserve. (You're one of the greats, just for this, you know? Don't forget. :))