(no subject)

Was back to work today after 2.5 weeks off. Not feeling much better than before. Only started to feel like I was on hols last week.

I think part of the problem is that I expect things to be different when I'm not working. That I'll magically feel better, have some energy. But it isn't different. I'm still half dead, though probably a little less tired than when I'm working. And while I want to try to do things while I'm off, that then takes energy (and causes more than a little anxiety). So it's pretty much status quo.

Work was okay, though busy catching up on nearly 3 weeks of gifting. Anxiety-wise was reasonable, except been suffering a lot from heart palpitations today, which isn't my usual anxiety reaction. A little confused about that. Even got it a bit at the moment.

Rheumatologist tomorrow, which I'm glad of as I'm a little worried about my hand. I've done really well circulation-wise so far this winter - toes have been suffering from the chilblains but they don't get very far, and my hand has been fabulous. A few times there were indications of vasculitis, and there's been some areas that looked like chilblains, but definitely the best they've been since this started. Only one nail is showing damage. That said, I've run into problems in August before, so not counting chickens yet. *knocks on wood*

But the finger joints on the right hand have been swollen for the past month. Noticed because I couldn't get rings on, and today even the largest ring barely went on and that was a struggle. They are also very sore to the touch, particularly the ring finger. The slightest knock, and I mean slight, can make me cry. Just pushing myself up or using my hands to mix water in the bath hurts. Had some pain at work today in both hands, not the usual soreness.

Maybe Dr Arnold will finally see my joints swollen. Though knowing me, they'll be fine tomorrow. Without fail chilblains or a vasculitis attack would wait to strike until just after I saw him.

(no subject)

Was back to work today after 2.5 weeks off. Not feeling much better than before. Only started to feel like I was on hols last week.

I think part of the problem is that I expect things to be different when I'm not working. That I'll magically feel better, have some energy. But it isn't different. I'm still half dead, though probably a little less tired than when I'm working. And while I want to try to do things while I'm off, that then takes energy (and causes more than a little anxiety). So it's pretty much status quo.

Work was okay, though busy catching up on nearly 3 weeks of gifting. Anxiety-wise was reasonable, except been suffering a lot from heart palpitations today, which isn't my usual anxiety reaction. A little confused about that. Even got it a bit at the moment.

Rheumatologist tomorrow, which I'm glad of as I'm a little worried about my hand. I've done really well circulation-wise so far this winter - toes have been suffering from the chilblains but they don't get very far, and my hand has been fabulous. A few times there were indications of vasculitis, and there's been some areas that looked like chilblains, but definitely the best they've been since this started. Only one nail is showing damage. That said, I've run into problems in August before, so not counting chickens yet. *knocks on wood*

But the finger joints on the right hand have been swollen for the past month. Noticed because I couldn't get rings on, and today even the largest ring barely went on and that was a struggle. They are also very sore to the touch, particularly the ring finger. The slightest knock, and I mean slight, can make me cry. Just pushing myself up or using my hands to mix water in the bath hurts. Had some pain at work today in both hands, not the usual soreness.

Maybe Dr Arnold will finally see my joints swollen. Though knowing me, they'll be fine tomorrow. Without fail chilblains or a vasculitis attack would wait to strike until just after I saw him.